Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
