the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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