its not stalking. its research.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
