Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
