Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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