She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
