You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
