i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
