and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
