I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
