Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Randomize
