38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
