He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
