I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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