her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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