paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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