I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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