Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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