I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
