i dont even know how to be here
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
