Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
