If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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