i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
