you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
