I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
