i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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