Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
