But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
