I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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