I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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