If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
