Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We need to get me chipped asap
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
