he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
