THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
