and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have already put on my inside pants.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
