you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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