Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
