I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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