eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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