Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
