Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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