Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
