I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
