so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
