Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
