is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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