normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
