I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
