Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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