After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
